I Obsessed Over Something I Said for Ten Hours 🫠

The Obsession. . .

Earlier this week I was feeling a little uncertain about a personal issue I’ve been navigating. I’m no stranger to the 12-step world, so I decided to attend a local meeting hoping to find some answers or get a little support.

Neither fucking happened.

I don’t always speak up at meetings, but when I do, the words seem to just spew out of my mouth with little regard to the consequences. If something is bothering me in that moment, I say it! And I do find tremendous relief in doing so. . . sometimes.

The group I attend is super small and encourages cross talk - meaning you can comment on what someone else said as long as you refrain from giving advice. I really like that because meetings feel more like a conversation instead of a bunch of random ass stories.

But that didn’t happen for me. Not this time anyway. I was pouring my heart out about my situation, and I just didn’t feel heard. What’s worse is that I didn’t feel understood.

Oddly enough the meeting topic was on "Obsessive Thinking”.

Isn’t that fucking hilarious?!

So, what did I do after I spoke?

Naturally, I started obsessing over everything I just said and spent the remainder of the meeting wondering why the hell I came and why I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

But those obsessive thoughts didn’t stop when the meeting was over, they haunted me for the rest of the day.

“Why did I say that?”

“Is that really how I feel?”

“They are gonna think I’m an idiot.”

“I’ve gotta go back next week and ‘explain’ myself.”

Y’all - it was exhausting.

My mind was literally racing for the remainder of the day, and I was desperate for relief. 

As I crawled into bed with my racing thoughts and all, I decided to find an EFT tapping session to help me settle my mind before bed. 

Fucking EFT to the rescue, man!

Thank God for this practice. It literally saved me. 

WTF is EFT?

Before I dive into all things EFT you may be wondering what the hell any of this has to do with perimenopause.

In my world, everything.

I’m not here to talk about another nutrition plan or some new supplement that promises relief.

I’m here to talk about the one thing we can control in perimenopause (even though it’s not always easy) and that thing is our mental health.

And EFT has been an absolute lifesaver for me. 

So, what the hell is EFT?

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, but you'll usually hear it called tapping or EFT tapping. 

The basic idea is pretty simple: while focusing on a thought, feeling, or problem that's bothering you, you gently tap with your fingertips on a series of points on your face and upper body. These points correspond with acupressure points used in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). 

A typical tapping session combines tapping through the points with talking through what you're experiencing. So, instead of trying to force yourself to stop thinking about something, you begin to acknowledge what's actually happening:

“I'm overthinking this.”

“I'm worried about what might happen.”

“I can't seem to let this go.”

From there, a tapping session may move toward reframing the thought or introducing more supportive statements. 

It's fucking powerful, y’all. 

HOW DOES IT WORK? 

This is where it gets really interesting.

EFT combines two things at the same time: you're bringing your attention to the thought or emotion that's creating distress while also using tapping to help calm your body's stress response.

Think of it as interrupting the loop.

Instead of:

thought → stress → more thoughts → more stress → HELLO, 2 A.M.

You're acknowledging the thought while giving your nervous system an opportunity to settle.

Researchers are still studying exactly how EFT works, but proposed mechanisms include calming physiological and emotional arousal, supporting parasympathetic nervous-system activity, cognitive restructuring, and something called memory reconsolidation.

Memory reconsolidation is especially fascinating. When you bring a thought or memory back into awareness, your brain has an opportunity to essentially update the emotional meaning attached to it. You're not erasing the thought. You're changing your relationship to it.

And yes, there's actual science behind tapping.

In one randomized controlled trial, participants in the EFT group experienced an average 43% reduction in cortisol after a single EFT session.

Cortisol is one of the hormones involved in your body's stress response, so researchers weren't just asking people, “Hey, do you feel better?” They actually measured a biological change by testing cortisol levels found in your saliva before and after an EFT tapping session. 

Which is pretty freaking cool for something that looks like you're just randomly tapping on your face and talking to yourself. 

All I've gotta say is don't knock it until you try it.

You will be amazed at how effective such a simple practice can be. 

THE SHIFT 

So, let's get back to the story. 

I'm in bed. 

My brain WILL NOT shut up. 

Plus, now I'm worried that I won't be able to sleep. 

Effectively, I just compounded the whole situation by adding sleep anxiety to my already overactive mind. Great.

I needed relief, and I needed it fast. 

I grabbed my phone, opened up the tapping app on my phone, and started scrolling. 

I typically listen to the same EFT session every single night. My nightly go-to is one called “Get Answers to Your Problems Sleep Programming”. I mean, there's always a problem that needs to be solved, right?

But on this particular night, I needed something more specific. Something that would help me stop the madness that was happening in my brain. 

I found one about worry and started listening as I tried to fall asleep. 

(Full disclosure, I don't always tap on the points at night. Sometimes it feels too stimulating especially when I am trying to fall asleep. I treat it more like a meditation and repeat the statements silently to myself.)

Within the first three or four minutes of this meditation, I was already feeling relief. 

Finally, after almost ten hours of intrusive and relentless thoughts, I was able to finally let go and begin to reset my nervous system. 

Wanna know the phrase that stood out to me the most?

You are safe. 

Somewhere along the way, my brain had decided that what I said in that meeting was a threat. So, it kept replaying the conversation, analyzing every word and trying to figure out what I needed to do to “fix” it.

That's what our brains do. They just want to protect us from harm. And the poor thing doesn't realize that speaking up in a meeting and being chased by a tiger aren't the same damn thing. 🤣

As I listened and my body settled, I slowly came to the realization that there was nothing to fix.

And I was, in fact, safe. 

Slowly, the thoughts quieted, and I fell asleep. 

I ain't gonna lie. The next morning, the thoughts came back.

But this time, I could catch them.

Thanks to my EFT session, I immediately realized, “Oh. I’m doing the thing again.”

And instead of following the thought down the rabbit hole, I kept bringing myself back to the present moment. 

Over and over again. 

Washing the dishes.

Taking a shower.

Sitting outside with Wilma.

I kept telling myself, “I’m safe. I’m here. There’s nothing I need to figure out right now.”

The tapping didn’t magically erase the thoughts. It just gave me enough space to recognize what my brain was doing and to choose not to follow it.

WANNA TRY IT?

I'm a big believer in alchemizing my own pain into something that might help ease the suffering of someone else. 

The next day, I sat down and prepared the EFT tapping session that I have linked below. 

Even if you're not plagued by overthinking at this very moment, you can always save it for a rainy day. 

If you do try it, I'd love to hear what you thought about it. Leave me a comment or reply to this email and tell me what you thought!